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Recruitment
But seriously in today’s warped society, no longer can you voluntarily pay £20,000 to be a bum and all for a piece of paper they call a degree. Not only are you denied that but you find that your second choice of what they called paid employment is also far from your reach!So what you ask am I meant to do? Well my personal theory would be to take the third option, to throw on your sweatpants and hoodie, sit back on the couch, stick Jezza Kyle on the television and do the one thing that annoys your parents the most….NOTHING! and the day that your mum nervously comes and sits down on the couch next to you and politely tells you that you stink before putting her arm around you and saying ‘son, what are you going to do with your life’ you can politely turn around and say ‘mum, i have enrolled in the university of whatever’, you could even produce your degree to prove it, just don’t let her read the small print that says your degree is in ‘binge drinking’ or ‘erotica’, or on the other hand do, because then she may actually believe that you are infact a real life drinking, stinking, sex addicted, student……….after all what else is university for?
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Summer has arrived
Living up in Liverscouse at the minute and the summer is upon us it seems. Well I thought that till the lady came home and informed me it’s going to be frosty next week. For the past two months the weather has decieved. You look out the window and think tshirt weather. Two minutes later after venturing outside you’re bloody freezing and have to walk back and throw on the sweatshirt. Thus, I have already done a 4 minute round trip, so lets be positive. Those 4 mins have gone some way in delivering the summer six pack i have been planing for the last 2 days. Oh Bugger, it’s May so not going to happen so it may as well wait till next year. i’ll scrap the idea of purchasing the slim fit tshirts and opt for the standard fit. I did read in a magazine how to get ripped in 2 weeks. It was next to the add for grow another 2 inches. I know this to be true but very temporary. It occurs each morning before I realise I have been dreaming about something random like Simon Cowell actually being my father and I had a surrogate chimpanzee mother who ate wood. Why did I wake up in that state. i question myself.
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Amazing Drop goal – Rugby
UOW’s Rugby coach thought it was essential that we showed our team and supporters the most amazing drop goal ever seen http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/world-of-sport/article/2030/ Francois Steyn has a reputation as having the biggest boot in world rugby, and our front rower madge has been known to achieve similar distance in training.
This is just glorious and had to be shared with those that havenet seen it!
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UOW Election Overview
I am not an expert on politics and spent the majority of last night trying to get excited by the abundunce of election programs. Naturally I opted for the very well presented channel four option with Jimmy Carr. Great quotes included ‘The election is the straight mans eurovision’.
My understanding from it all is that Clegg, Brown and Mr Cameron are going to be hung in parliament, and at some point the queen will create a coalition. Don;t we have coalition troops already, so does that mean we are producing or extending the army.
The idea of combining the Conservatives and Lib Dems is a horrible thought as blue and yellow makes green I think. I am not happy about that – Save the whales and electric cars. Sounds like a lot of effort for the sake of my future grand children. I think after 12 years of parties, I may never be capable of having grand kids anyway. Why are Brighton the only constituency that opted for the green party? Are they getting a cheeky little Terry Dibs style deal on electric cars. Who knows!
Thankfully, the BNP didn’t get any coverage in the news on the lead up to the election so all the blinkered Nazi’s probably forgot about them so didn’t vote for them. Maybe they forgot how to spell BNP, and accidentally ticked the blue box.
In the end the so called most exciting general election since the early 70′s was a complete bloody waste of time! Simples.
Anyway, buy a UOW hoody – Ha
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University Tshirts weather
Let’s be honest.. This is every mans favourite time of the year. The sun comes out and the beautiful ladies of Britain wear less clothes, and what clothes they are wearing tend to be much tighter.
Unfortunately, men are quite unlucky as we doin’t really have too many options. Tshirts are clearly the most obvious garment, but if we wear a vest we get stick, and if we go bear chested we get called a tit! All the cool shorts are too long so we get a stupid tan mark and if we wear old skool short shorts we also get plenty of abuse. Then there is flip flops. We all love em. Problem is that men have disgraceful feet. Thus, they look prettty awful. What do you do – Sandals and socks!?!
Nope – If I thought for one second UOW could go some way in making sandals and pulled up socks cool I would.
Unfortunately, i don’t believe we can. So we just need to accept that most men look pretty boring or bad in summer, and the ladies make up for it on all levels. Simple answer – cross dress. You’d look hot in a pair of hot pants and a crop top. The girlfriend thinks I do!
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New Sports club hoodies at UOW
UOW are looking for inspiration from our students. We would like to expand the range of clubs at the University so people can purchase new club hoodies and club tshirts, which are proving very popular. If you have some witty, humourous and down right ridiculous ideas contact us at UOW with your ideas. If we use them we will send you some free club stash in the club you have created. Miss Wet Tshirt, Pub Golf, Dodgeball, Dance off are all very popular at the minute.
What makes our club tops so popular. Are they aspirational. Have we always wanted to be in a mud wrestling team? The response and attention you get when wearig the garments are second to none. Take a look what is available. You’d make a great addition to the Cheerleading squad. Bob has!
Leave your ideas here and spread the UOW love with your friends.
