-
University Places left at UOW
There are 180,000 poor buggers chasing University places. WELL look no further. We at UOW open our doors to 1st class party people, which is pretty much everyone from the UK as to party is our culture.. Entry requirements are pretty low as you simply need to purchase hoodies, tshirts, sweatshirts, sweatpants, tshirts or polo shirts and we just send you a free degree! It may not pave the way to better things, but it will stop you getting into 30k of debt, with a worthless degree to show for it.
AND you can excel in what you do best – handbags, dress sense, partying or the opposite sex.
Joking aside, the current demand for university spaces in incredibly high, and the current economic situation doesnt lend itself to investing further in creating more opportuntities. The sad part to the story is the fact that employment opportunities are also at a minimum. AND even worse how can you be in FT party education, and develop into a 1st class party person without a job to fund all the fun and frolics.
UOW is a place of further education that relies on other universities to actually create the platform to make people employable, so they can then achieve the ultimate recognition by becoming a 1st class scholar in partying and debauchery.
But, I am sure if you ask nicely mother or father will purchase you a cracking hoodie, or a bright pink tshirt, or a super comfy pair of sweatpants from UOW. You dont have to go to uni to get one of those crappy promotional quality hoodies with say Sheffield Hallam on the front. Instead, buy a University of Whatever hoodie which is premium quality and comes with a free degree in whatever you want!
UOW – FT Party Education
-
7 day Sale
For 7 days only you can enter ‘oxford’ into the checkout to recieve a massive 30% off! Whats in the sale? Everything. We have a hoodies sale, sweatshirts sale,tshirts sale,sweatpants sale,polo shirts sale,zip hoodies sale and sweat jackets sale.
This is the perfect time to be purchasing clothing for festival season! Hoodies and sweatshirts are an essential garment for fields and tents. Dont let drunken haze obscur the fact – It is bloody freezing!
-
Student Drinks
One of the greatest things about student life is the drinking and more specifically our ideas on what constitutes a nice drink. When a student the priority is 90% strength or volume and 10% taste. As you develop into a more discerning gentleman like myself it shortens in the favour of taste to at least 50/50. We still opt for the premium lagers or the 14 % proof bottle of wine where possible.
I drink Guinness now, which has progressed from Snakebite and Black, turbo shandys, green frogs and worst of all TVR’s. The more sugar the better to mask the vile taste. No wonder i went to Uni a sportsmen and came back a fatty with high blood pressure. Naturally, I then bacame a personall trainer and proved that fitness is not important to become a PT. You just need to be able to talk crap, sympathise and hurt people. I was bloody brilliant!
What happed to £1 a drink nights. Do they still happen? I felt really old for the first time a week ago when driving through Sheffield and pointing out Pulse and Vogue where we experienced many drunken messes, fighting with belts, puking and sleeping in a frost for 4 hours before being picked up by the police having missed the final bus. Pulse and Vogue was no longer there! It was now a retail park. My past had gone. Not that I could remember anything about those nights bar the start and end. Good times.
Even though my student life was a complete waste of time, I loved the party and would never change it. Maybe the bits that involved losing bodily function could be deleted to gain back some credibility! It’s not nice being known as pooh boy in some circles!
